My Head Hurts, Your Brain Works Less

For the past few days, I’ve had one of the worst headaches I’ve ever had in my entire life. I don’t get sick often, though one of the ailments I do suffer from on a regular basis is impatience. Unfortunately for you, that gets amplified the more my head hurts.

If I may answer your question ahead of time: Yes, I have taken something. It seems that as my head hurts more, your opinion of my ability to think declines. My head hurts, yes, but my brain is working fine. So when I say “my head hurts,” you can rest assure that I’m doing everything—EVERYTHING—I can to make it feel better.

It’s not difficult to come to the conclusion of taking something. Sure, my headache kicked my ass at Madden 2007, just barely beat me at Disney Scene It, and rather successfully made me its bitch at Checkers, but you don’t ask about them. “Taking something” is not a full proof way to rid myself of pain, but you can rest assured—even if it still hurts—that I have taken something. So, no need to ask.