Commute Rambling: The Political Historian

For anyone who rides a train or subway on a regular basis, you can point out that person who will say or do something that you will be sure to tell everyone at work about. Here in Atlanta I have the distinct pleasure of hearing a crazy rant more often than anyone else. On Sunday, one such rant occurred which will top my list of 'Commute Ramblings'.

I was in the last car heading eastbound towards Indian Creek. A man in a purple LSU sweatshirt and matching leather visor sat across from me and my co-worker. After this encounter, I plan on carrying a tape recorder with me during all train rides. The following are points the half-black, half-Italian semi-drunk man, who shall be named "Warren" from this point on, made.

• Only White People Understand Education. 'Warren' mentioned Yale in his ramblings about G.W. Bush (half of his tirade), then stated that Caucasians (me and my co-worker being the ones he pointed at) were the only people near him that understood that Yale means "good education".

• Yale = Free Pussy Pass. According to Warren, by being a student at Yale, whether you earned it through intelligence or genetics, it means you have bragging rights and therefore can use your educational institution as reasoning with a female to get some easy poon. I will also note that he said the word "pussy" about seven times in two and a half minutes in front of a sixty year old woman and her granddaughter of eleven.
  

• William Jefferson, King of the African-Americans. The blackest president is Bill Clinton. Warren had legitimate, undisputable proof. He said, "Bill Clinton plays the saxophone, wears sunglasses, and even made the woman that gave him a blowjob famous. He is a black man."

• JFK. We took a bigger leap back through time when the Political Historian made sure to bring up the fact that JFK was having "all kinds of crazy sex with Marilyn Monroe." At this point a crazy woman in the corner in a wheelchair yelled out "Joe DiMaggio!"

• I Will Not be Robbed. Before my co-worker and I (again, the only Caucasians nearby) disembarked from the train, we were assured by 'Warren' that we don't need to be afraid of him. He promised he would not follow us to our cars to rob us at gunpoint. I felt the weight soar off my shoulders.

All in all, the encounter with 'Warren' is probably one of the best Commute Ramblings I have... so far. I have no doubt that somewhere out there is someone crazier, drunker, more homeless, and wiser that will just so happen to pass me on the walk to work or, if the gods are kind, sit next to me on the train.