The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be...for 2008

Technically, my title is inaccurate. A few years down the line, some of the things I mention won't age well, but who cares? I just felt like a Bret Hart shout-out in my title.

Anyway, this may be a little late in terms of "best-of" lists, but in many cases, most people don't get around to seeing the best stuff of a year until the new one starts.

Thus, I begin:

Music:

I don't really follow music too much, most of what I get is from movie soundtracks, but anyway, here's what I dug this year:

"Roar" - Michael Giacchino, the Cloverfield end credits. Michael Giacchino is someone I've only recently discovered, through Cloverfield and Lost, and his shit is epic. This guy could make doing a grocery list sound important. "Roar" reminds you that what you just saw was a GIANT FUCKING MONSTER movie, not just a deconstruction of the genre. 

"Flight of the Conchords" - Flight of the Conchords. The show is hilarious, the songs are toe-tappingly good. (This guest review done by Larry King)

"Volume One" - She & Him. Folksy? Is that how I describe this? 

And my best album of 2008, is, guess what? Something I didn't buy til 2009:

"Batman: The Animated Series Soundtrack" - Shirley Walker. This was put out in a very limited release by LaLa Land Records. If you're a fan of the show, it's a must have. 

Books: 

I'm not sure what I read this year that actually came out this year. 

But I'm pretty sure I read a lot of older stuff. Here's three books that I remember:

Eat this, Not that - The twist is, the fishwich is more unhealthy than the McNuggets...and the butler did it.

The Omnivore's Dilemma - I really don't feel like looking up the author's name. But he taught me that corn is IN FUCKING EVERYTHING. You are corn.

The Great Derangement - Matt Taibbi. There are equally crazy people on the right and the left and everyone in between is fucked because of it.

Comics: 

Don't these belong with books, you ask? Fuck you. They're comics.

Captain America & Daredevil - Ed Brubaker w/ Steve Epting & Michael Lark, respectively

No, there isn't some glorious Captain America and Daredevil team up book. But Ed Brubaker is rocking my socks off with Cap, and while his Daredevil isn't too different from what has come before, it's executed well.

Booster Gold - Geoff Johns w/ Dan Jurgeons

Just a straight up fun comic. It also serves as a history lesson for the DC Universe. Oh, and time travel, evil counterparts, and did I mention time travel?

Criminal - Ed Brubaker w/ Sean Phillips

As I eventually give up buying monthly comics and exclusively buy trades, I will continue to pick this up each month its published, as it's got a ton of great extras each issue. Essays on noir from the authors as well as guests like Patton Oswalt. 

Deadpool - Daniel Way w/ Paco Medina

I loves me some Deadpool. Fox is getting my 12 bucks because they put him in the Wolverine movie. And Deadpool has his own comic again. And it's actually good...and hilarious. 

Television: 

I discovered Lost, The Wire, and Deadwood this past year. Television doesn't get much better. Burn Notice and Chuck provide some fun spy action without getting too deep. Fringe started out leaving me wanting The X-Files to come back(although not like it did this summer), but it quickly became a favorite new show. And Heroes sucked balls.

Movies:

In no particular order: Wall-E, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Hellboy 2, Redbelt, The Wrestler, The Fall, Tropic Thunder, Snow Angels

I love these films. Each is amazing in their own way, but looking at this list, The Fall, The Wrestler, and Redbelt would be a great triple feature. I'll probably do a more in-depth look at The Wrestler after I see it again, but I consider all of these "must sees," and as Gene Shallit would say while holding a basket of eggs, "Eggcellent."

Genetic Altering of Dewbacks: Unethical or Unavoidable

For centuries the moisture farmers and hunters of the desolate desert planet Tatooine have domesticated the large reptilian beast of burden known as the Dewback and now they want to take a drastic measure and clone, then genetically alter the animal. The Dewbacks earned their name by getting moisture by licking the dew that had formed of each others’ backs in the morning. If only it were this easy for the moisture farmers of this arid land to collect their crop. These days the water seems to be, for lack of a better phrase, drying up! The planet’s average temperature has risen a drastic 1.5° over the past decade.

The 1.5° increase in temperature has caused an issue that effects more than just the moisture farmers. The Dewback, which is the one of the few animals that can survive in the harsh climate of the planet, are starting to lessen in number. The Galactic Non-Sentient Protection Agency has not designated Dewbacks as a threatened species. These beasts travel to the Jundland Wastes, where the sands are the ideal temperature to lay their eggs, once a year for mating season. The species has done this journey for so long and it has become so engrained in their genetics, that it is near impossible to breed a Dewback in captivity. Over this past decade the number of newborn Dewbacks has dropped a significant 5% and is believed to grow exponentially over this next decade. Because of this decrease and the planets dependency on the animal, scientists speculate that cloning the species may need to begin within the decade.

Owners of Dewbacks have other concerns about their Dewbacks and are voicing their opinions to the scientists researching and advocating the cloning of the species. Doc Breetel is a young human gem hunter who resides just outside Anchorhead. “Every year I lose my Dewback, Vernil, for about five weeks during mating season. I can’t be walking around the wastelands hunting for precious stones on foot. If they’re going to clone these things, they could at least find a way to deal with this problem,” he says. Many people rely upon Dewbacks as simple desert transportation and assisting them in their daily business, ranging from the moisture farmers, to local construction companies using them to haul equipment across town. All of these Dewback owners lose their animal for several weeks during mating season, stalling business until they return. Why do they let the Dewback go away? Ask ex-Republic gunner Remmie Dextin. “We had just bought a Dewback for my friend’s dad’s used transport lot to haul scrap metal around. Mating season rolled around and we still had some work to do, so we tried to keep the Dewback in his pen. Bad idea. The thing broke through the fence and knocked me over, damaging my leg beyond repair.” And the solution to the mating season problem is very simple. When the animal is cloned they can be genetically altered and turned asexual. However, the Galactic Non-Sentient Protection Agency still claims that it is unethical to turn such a reproduction-oriented animal asexual.

The idea of neutering the Dewbacks has been discussed much in the past years. The animal’s tough hide and poor healing ability make operating more pain than it’s worth. The animal’s reproductive organs also lie very close to several important nerve clusters which, if even slightly nicked, would severely damage the Dewback’s nervous system. Not only that, but the size and genes of the Dewback make it immune to any legal tranquilizers. There have been several illegal neuterings done recently, but in the end have left the Dewback unable to work at the same capacity it did before the operation due to damage done to the nervous system.

The Dewback owners on Tatooine would be very grateful to have an animal that does not disappear for weeks (up to two and a half months depending on the distance to the Jundland Wastes) once a year. However, until the GNSPA allow the altering of genes on cloned animals, individuals like Doc Breetel will have to continue to manage with the Dewback mating season like the residents of Tatooine have for centuries.