The Truth is Out There

or, Barack Obama isn't some genius James Bond villain

If I was Bruce Banner, I would probably be subject to very short bursts of turning into the Hulk. I'm the type that bottles up my anger and rage and it comes out at rather inappropriate moments at work like, "Holy shit, where the fuck is the stapler!??!?" Or this old chestnut while on the road, "I can't fuckin' believe that motherfuckin' fuck just fuckin' did that!" However, after reading an e-mail titled "Who is Barack Obama?" I could probably go on a cross-country Hulk rampage. 

Upon first reading the title, I thought it might be a humorous, Seinfeld-like analysis of the Democratic candidate, "What's the deal with Barack Obama? Who is this guy, I mean, what's the deal with politics, right?" Sadly, I was sorely mistaken. 

The e-mail begins with this sentence:

"Very interesting and something that should be considered in your choice."

Well, yes, obviously. Any voter who really gives a shit should ask the question of "Who is ______?" before casting their vote that puts this person into public office. Hell, every dumbshit American Idol voter should ask this question. My very first vote for anything was for the Blue M&M and goddammit, I made sure that Blue was going to represent my interests and beliefs as my representative in the world of candy coated chocolates. Anyway, back to the e-mail.

Next, after a quick bit about how scary and important this e-mail is, it goes on to say:

"We checked this out on 'snopes.com". It is factual. Check for yourself.

Well, if you stop to check for yourself you will find out that this e-mail is anything but factual. 

Apparently for most people who are lurking around the internet, making a claim that a story is factual is enough for them. Especially in an e-mail forwarded to them, with no real author and no real sources to back anything up. Well, gullible e-mail forwarding people(aka old people and teenagers) I've got a scoop for you. John Edwards is plagued by a magical imp who appears every three months causing trouble and mischief and the only way to get rid of him is by tricking him into saying his own name backwards. It's factual. You could go ahead and look on snopes.com and see that I'm lying or just take me on my word because I told you I'm telling the truth. 

The e-mail moves on to Obama's parents, a "black MUSLIM" and a "white ATHEIST." I'm pretty sure they're holding back, otherwise the next line would have been "Obama has also been known to associate with several JEWS." I'm sorry, my mom is a "white CATHOLIC" and my dad is a "white CATHOLIC" yet they manage to have my sister who is an "asian SATANIST*" Obama's parents managed to produce a "black CHRISTIAN," yet this e-mail fails to acknowledge that at all. It also fails to acknowledge the fact that religion shouldn't be an issue when electing a public official let alone president yet it manages to become more and more prevalent.  This e-mail instead says that Obama became a Christian because it was "politically expedient" despite the fact that any real research reveals he joined his church long before he got into politics. It's also fairly hypocritical for the author(s) to downplay Obama's Christianity as political when in fact they're trying to rally "good Christ-loving Americans" against an allegedly Muslim candidate. 

They then claim that Obama was sworn into office as Senator not on the Holy Bible but on the boldface underlined KORAN! Dun. Dun. Dun! A simple google or look around Snopes reveals this to be false. But, so what if an elected official is sworn in on the Koran or on the Torah or on a Harry Potter book. You're swearing to tell the truth in front of whatever you believe to be the ultimate judge of that truth, not on one select group's version.

Finally, the e-mail wraps up with this gem:

"The Muslims have said they plain on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States, one of their own!!!!

First off, "The Muslims?" The terrorists have said this, not the entire Muslim faith. It's simple minded ignorance like that that got America into Iraq into the first place. When people started equating 9/11 with Iraq that led to the never-ending shitfest going on over there. When people start interchanging Muslim with terrorist, that's when you start to see hate crimes perpetrated by violent douchebags all over the place. The saddest part is, most people who get this e-mail won't bother to actually look to see if its true or not. They'll just pass it on to others as facts, like the messenger at work who liked Obama because he was "well-spoken"(don't even get me started on that) but couldn't support him because he heard he was funded by the Egyptians who wanted to...guess what? Destroy the US from the inside out! I'm sorry, but last time I checked, the entire population of people who are Muslims are not James Bond villains. 

All the bullshit rumors going around about Obama are even more ludicrous than the belief that Kennedy would be in the Pope's pocket when he was running. It's funny** how people are worried about a separation of Church and State when its not their Church involved.  And it's even funnier*** how the internet, the "information super highway," something that was supposed to open up the world and people's minds has instead only helped to close more. 

*My sister is not a satanist. At least not as far as I know. Sorry, Sara!

**By funny, I mean not funny at all, but actually very scary and depressing.

*** Again, scary and depressing. Even more so.