If the monster in Cloverfield could talk, and it said the above line, the movie would have been fucking amazing. As it was, I just enjoyed it. It was a very interesting interpretation of the giant monster movie and a good commentary on our amateur video obsessed society. It's also a great film if you enjoy seeing douchebags get killed.
Douches Galore
The characters in Cloverfield are pretty much the characters you would usually see as victims in a modern slasher movie. Cool, attractive young folks who you pretty much know can die at any second. The only difference here is, there's not really a likable one in the bunch. I'm not saying that a character has to be likable, I'd just prefer them to not all be douches. Seriously, the main character, Rob, is a total douche. And the guy behind the camera, Hud, the doucheist of douches. He asks the question "What is that thing?" close to 47 or 49 times. He pretty much asks all the questions that the idiots and old ladies in a movie theater would normally ask. So, old ladies and dumbasses with no theater etiquette, this movie does half the work for you.
Other stuff, good.
Now, with the above paragraph, you might think I hated this movie. I didn't. I enjoyed it a lot, although the film could've used a P. Diddy song sampling Led Zepplin. The monster is pretty badass, although to all those like myself who were hoping for some sort of Gammera type turtle monster, you'll be sorely disappointed. For those who haven't seen it yet, I won't spoil it, but I will say it obviously has Godzilla influences along with some H.P. Lovecraft thrown in.
Cloverfield also wins points for really drawing me into the film. I felt like I was on that Body Wars ride from Epcot. In one of the brief moments that I looked around me, I saw that everyone eye's were glued to the screen as well. There was also a rare moment in a packed theater where everyone was actually silent with suspense. Amazingly no one giggled or talked or had their cellphone go off. So I've got to give the movie credit for that.
So, overall, I don't really have a lot to say about the movie. Did it live up to the hype? I'm not sure. I can't speak for everyone's expectations. As for my own, I simply wanted to be entertained and see a turtle monster. At least I was entertained. Go ahead and check it out, it's definitely worth seeing in theaters.*
*Unless you too wanted a turtle monster. In that case, stay home and dream of a day when someone revives the Gammera movies. Also, if you have vertigo its probably not a great idea. You'll vomit. A lot.
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