Trying to Achieve Wii Fitness

In my 24 years of life, I've had few brief periods with regular exercise. Through elementary and middle school I played soccer every fall(which I maintain is responsible for my awesome calves today), in high school I would opt for the weight room over other activities(because I hated almost everyone doing the other stuff) and while working at Waldbaums I occasionally worked in the stock room, doing some heavy lifting. Plus I made a few attempts at going to the gym during college, but nothing really ever stuck. I could never get into the routine. There was always an excuse: too tired, too hungover, A-Team episode I haven't seen, Rocky marathon, or having to return some videotapes. 

Recently though, I've been thinking a lot more about being healthy. While I was never "obese" (Fat rolls everywhere, ex. The Blob, Jabba the Hut, Mamma Cass), I've always been pretty fat. (Gut, man boobs, enjoyment of snack cakes) In January, I weighed in at the most I've ever weighed: 264.5 pounds. I was weighing in for the "Fat Bastard" contest at work, and while I was at first joining in for fun, when I saw that weight, I had some serious motivation to lose it. I heard the Rocky music in my head and the first thing I would do when I got home is exercise. Within a few hours, that motivation was gone. But then I happened upon the "Belly Off" diet on the Men's Health website. I'm not going to go into details, but it encourages you to eat beer and steak, and I was down with that. It got me into a better eating habit, and over the course of three months, I lost 32 pounds. 

Then I kinda fell into a month long celebration of losing that weight. A few extra burgers here and there, and then I became an addict for three weeks. To Archer Farms Kettle Chips. These are delicous. Flavors like Buffalo, Spicy, Wasabi Mustard, Sweet Onion, I could not get enough of these. I wouldn't kill a man to eat these chips, but I might torture his family while he watched. But then, like an angel from the heavens, Wii Fit came down to aid me in my weight loss motivation. It arrived two weeks ago, and I've started losing weight again.

Now, the way Wii Fit works, is it gets you active and makes you feel like a fat piece of shit. It's like a personal trainer, only without the person. Which is great for me, since I'm slightly agoraphobic and like to avoid personal contact when possible. Also, I don't have to deal with that guy at the gym who looks like Triple H and grunts loudly with every rep. Anyway, back to Wii Fit and the angry scale that yells at me. "Angry scale?" you might ask. The balance board, which you use for the most of the game, also has an animated counterpart to help motivate you onscreen. It administers your body tests and then grills you on what happened if you gain any weight. Today, it seriously warned me before weighing in if I gained any weight. It said "The last two times you gained weight, you said it was from eating too much, Pauly, let's not have that happen again." And that shit was seriously in bold. Every day I get on that scale is a day I don't want to be yelled at by the animated persona of said scale. It has inspired me to lose weight with fear. The only way it could be more effective is if it gave me an electric shock every time I gained weight. That's probably how the Japanese version works. *

*Because they're crazy**

**Opinion based on viewing of Japanese game shows***

***Also based on article I read where the author bought a used pair of girl's panties from a vending machine in Japan.

P.S. I haven't beaten my kettle chip addiction, but I have lessened my portions. Also, current weight is 223.